Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
