You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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