fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
third nipple confirmed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize