I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This house was built for laser tag.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
