He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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