Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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