ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
