hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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