Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
