dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize