Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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