If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize