i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
