I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
