no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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