I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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