I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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