how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
