I must be too annoying 4 u.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
