Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
