Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
