I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
