i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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