What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
