So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
