I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
