three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
