i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
