omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
