I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
