If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
