thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
