i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
they need to just BURY HIM!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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