Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
