I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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