is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
