I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
