i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We need a shit load of segways right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
