porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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