I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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