A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i jhust puked up my retainher.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
how does that bad decision feel?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
