I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Let's get the cat blown out
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
