I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
