just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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