Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i would punch a child for taco bell
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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