Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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