Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
