Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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