Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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