dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you never un-have a 4some
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
