just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize