STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
