I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
