My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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