If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
