The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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