As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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