If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
