I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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