Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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