Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
