so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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