Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
