She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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