hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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