Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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