I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
two words...techno handjob
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
