My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
